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I never got to see Twilight but this is my version. (I am TRUELY sorry if I affend anyone with this.) 

My Twilight Experience

by Jordan (me)

        I was walking down the street and the next day after my three day anniversary (I don't know why I was keeping track of this, wait... no I don't). I saw this guy his name was Edward. He said, " My cousin's uncle's granddaughter likes you. "So I'm like, "How do you remember that." Then she flew up to me and she said, "I love you." So I said, "I think your hot." (It was an awkward moment.) Then, she said, "I think your hot too, but... I'm a vampire." I was shocked. Then I said, "Oh No, please explain this and all of its complications to me." She said, "I love you but sometimes I might want to eat you." So I said, "Wow, this is a great plot I should write a book about this." Then she said, "I think you should it could be a bestseller or something like that." Then all of a sudden she was overcome with this rage to eat me. So I started to run. She caught me then she was about to bite me. So I said, "Stop, I love you." Then all of a sudden she snapped out of it. She said, "What happened." So I explained this to her. Then she said, "I have to go." Then I said, "I understand." All of a sudden she tried kissing me. So I thought to myself whoa she eats people. So then me and my quick thinking kicked in. So I said, "What if you try to eat me." Then, out of nowhere she slapped me. So she said, "Bye!" Then she started flying away. I said, "Watch out." Then, she flew into the power lines. I said, "That's what happens if you get in my..." Then she fell on me. I woke up a week later in the hospital with a mild concusion.